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Joan Rivers Quotes

Joan Rivers Quotes

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I don’t exercise. If God wanted me to bend over, he’d have put diamonds on the floor.
- Joan Rivers

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I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, "the man goes on top and the woman underneath." For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
- Joan Rivers


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Florida wants to change the state’s motto to attract younger people. They’re thinking about: "More than just a great place to die."
- Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers Quotes - Housework

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I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
- Joan Rivers



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My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
- Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers Quotes

I am pimping it out for you at the Academy Awards.
- Joan Rivers


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